I've been feeling tired and unsettled. Exams are coming soon and even though I struggle not to think about it, everyone in this whole muggerish environment (made all the more evident by the faculty I'm in) seems to be posting little reminders of how screwed I am all around.

More memorising to do for Oral Presentation on Monday. Even after that, we still have to write our memo but at least I know where we're going now. When I reached home, it was so late, so dark. My Dad took one look at my face and asked if I was going to rant and complain about my day. I told him no, because I felt dead to the world. My sister started telling me about her Lit Paper. And then I had to get down to do my script. It's coming along.

Anyway, I admit, I teared again today. Because I thought of the upcoming exams and how screwed I am because I can't understand certain things. It's not that I don't have time (which actually I don't) but sometimes you can have time but still don't understand. (And besides, my life? I don't want it to be just exams -study study all the time -where's the purpose?) I wasn't looking forward to coming home and starting work again. But when I was walking back home from the bus-stop, Hillsong playing from my ipod, smelling the crisp night air that comes with rain and seeing the lights beautifully strung on tree branches (don't ask me why), it just hit me that God is in control, I may not feel confident but God will be my strength.

Eugenia also shared with me a testimony that I feel emphasized everything I felt today.

Nathanael tells me not to stress. I get panicky easily la because I hate feeling stupid. Ugh.

Anyway, I was a witness for Nelson's mock trial on Monday. Was feeling pretty crappy because of the whole long day and LAWR. Screwed up a bit for the examination-in-chief and realised that I should not say 'yes' to put questions during cross-examination. Was feeling quite bad because I thought I didn't do very well but Nelson says that if I keep saying sorry he'll feel bad. It was definitely a good experience though. Went with him after that to church because he had a drama production rehearsal and I wanted to see my cell people (knowing that I may not be able to see them for a while and needing to draw strength from them). I didn't regret spending the time there. I've made so many friends in church. (Lesson: Go for church activities!)

Wednesday... Haha, during Contract tutorial, I was talking to Clara on MSN. Bad me. But she was worse. She was sick and I think medication had messed with her brain or something because she started typing lyrics from "Cannibal King" and "Chan Mali Chan". So I was smiling at the computer and at times when I look at my tutor I was smiling really broadly which is so wrong because Contract is never meant to be a smiling time. Stupid girl. When I told her to stop, she just continued! Oh I love her.

My loves started exams today. Press on, I'll be keeping you in prayer. Please do the same for me too.

I was just thinking about relationships.
It's hard to let go, hard to move on. Even harder to know that the one you love, loves someone else.

Barca 2-2 Chelsea. But yayness, Lamps's goal was pure class from an almost impossible angle and Drogba's goal got us the one point in stoppage time. Dirty game though, with so many yellows.

You called me your Angel